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This week, I had the opportunity to offer parents a workshop to share some important insights on parenting styles, children’s temperaments, and effective boundary setting strategies. Understanding these key aspects can greatly contribute to fostering healthy relationships and nurturing your child’s development.
Parenting styles play a significant role in shaping our children’s behaviour, emotional well-being, and overall growth.
Here are the five primary parenting styles:
1. Autocratic: This style emphasizes high control and low warmth;
2. Punitive: Characterized by strict rules and harsh punishments;
3. Permissive: With low control and high warmth;
4. Democratic: A style based on open communication and mutual respect, democratic parenting is effective for all temperamental types;
5. Helicopter: This style involves overprotectiveness and excessive involvement
Children’s Temperaments
Understanding your child’s temperament can help tailor your parenting approach. In this context, temperament refers to a child’s unique behavioural and emotional traits.
The three common temperaments are:
1. Easy Temperament: These children are adaptable and responsive, making boundary setting a matter of clear expectations and security.
2. Difficult Temperament: Intense and challenging, these children require firm boundaries to provide structure and guidance.
3. Slow-to-Warm-Up Temperament: Shy and cautious, these children benefit from gradual boundary setting, consistent routines, and supportive environments.
Interactions between Parenting Styles and Temperaments: Different parenting styles interact with children’s temperaments in various ways. Autocratic parenting struggles with difficult temperaments, limits exploration for easy temperaments, and overwhelms slow-to-warm-up temperaments. Punitive parenting is detrimental to all temperamental types and Permissive parenting usually finds it challenging to establish consistent boundaries, whilst democratic parenting is generally effective with all temperamental types, fostering healthy development through open communication and mutual respect.
Boundary Setting for Different Temperaments: Each temperament requires a tailored approach to boundary setting. Easy temperaments benefit from clear boundaries for security and understanding expectations. Difficult temperaments need firm boundaries to provide structure and guidance. Slow-to-warm-up temperaments benefit from gradual boundary setting, consistent routines, and support to help them adapt gradually.
Effective Discipline Strategies: In promoting positive behaviour and growth, it’s essential to have effective discipline strategies. Identifying triggers for challenging behaviour is crucial. Responding calmly, setting clear expectations, and enforcing consistent consequences can guide appropriate actions. Reacting with empathy, modelling healthy emotional expression, and problem-solving skills shapes positive reactions. Age-appropriate timeouts can also be employed to aid self-regulation and reflection.
Transitioning to a Democratic Parenting Style: Transitioning to a democratic parenting style encourages healthy parent-child relationships. Here is a guide to help you embrace this style:
· Engage in self-reflection and understanding
· Recognize the need for change
· Establish open communication channels with your child
· Involve your child in decision-making processes
· Set clear and reasonable boundaries
· Embrace consistency and flexibility in your approach
· Foster problem-solving skills in your child
· Model democratic behaviour and mutual respect
· Seek support and guidance from professionals if needed
· Embrace the journey of growth and continuous learning
Despite everything your child says and does to the contrary, she/he wants rules and consequences. Children need to know where the boundaries are because they know instinctively that they need adult protection to survive. Without you to show them what’s safe and what’s not, what’s acceptable and what’s not, your child could get hurt. Their behaviour is not a demand for no rules; it’s a demand that you stick to them.
If your child has been displaying defiant behaviour, take all of the nit-picky rules off the table for now and focus on a few rules that can increase the safety and peace in your home. You are not letting the other behaviours slide, you are taking a systematic approach to effective enforcement that’s going to take a few weeks or months to round out.
Forming the most important rules:
Divide the rules you’d like to see in your home into three categories: very important, less important, and negotiable. To do this, make a list of all the problem behaviours that you think need correcting.
Next, put a checkmark next to the three behaviours you think are most problematic. Alone or with your partner, form a ‘’Most Important rules’’ list using no more than three checked behaviours from your list.
Some appropriate rules for the ‘’Most important’’ list could be:
The rules you choose should be age-appropriate and based on a problem you currently have. So, if you don’t have a problem with destruction of property, a rule against putting holes in the walls is not only unnecessary, it could backfire by showing and already defiant kid where he can find another button to push on your already overloaded control panel. These will be the basic, non-negotiable rules for your household from this day forward, no exceptions.
Forming less important rules:
Take another look at your list.
Now that you clarified your priorities, choose 3 to 5 more behaviours that you’d like to see corrected later, after your child has a handle on obeying the top 3 rules. These are behaviours that are certainly disruptive, but that you can live with for a few more weeks because they don’t directly harm you, your child, or anybody else. Make a list of 3 to 5 new, less important rules based on this list. The rules should be specific to behaviours, not general attitudes or attitude oriented. Some examples could be:
These will be a non-negotiable at a later date. Writing them down now can give you comfort because you can get some peace from knowing they will be resolved soon. But for now, put a star next to these and save them for later.
You will also create a third set of rules that you negotiate with your child after that
If you are dealing with a defiant child or you are confused about how to implement discipline in your house, I recommend you read The everything parent’s guide to the defiant child, by Lesse Jayne Rutherford and Kathleen Nickerson.
Many families face the challenge of a separation or divorce. Whatever the cause, is difficult for everyone and can be very upsetting and confusing for the children.
Parental separation and divorce aren’t merely events; they’re evolving processes that touch on many aspects of a child’s life.
Seeing less of one or both parents, moving between homes with different rules, and dealing with changes in family finances or parental employment all add up to big adjustments for a child.
Research informs that it is not the split itself, but the conflict between parents that hurt kids most. Although it can be hard to do when feelings are running high, communicating and cooperating with your ex is the best gift you can give your child to help soften the impact of separation or divorce.
WHEN ADULTS ARE CIVIL TOWARD EACH OTHER AFTER A SEPARATION, CHILDREN COPE MUCH BETTER WITH THE EXPERIENCE.
Here are some helpful ideas to help you support your children through the process of separation:
2-3 years old
Give lots of comfort. Children facing big events often erupt over small triggers because they have no coping reserves left. Respond to overwhelm with soothing.
Setbacks are normal- children may regress- crying at bedtimes, having separation anxiety. Be patient.
4-5 years old
Inform the school. Let your child’s teachers know, so they can be understanding of any changes in behaviour.
Be a united front. Be polite to your ex so your child doesn’t feel awkward about having you both at events, such as school assemblies and concerts.
6-7 years old
Children this age may blame themselves for the split. Explain repeatedly that it wasn’t their fault. Help them figure out what and how to tell their friends. Your children may also fantasise about reconciliation, which can hold back recovery and make it harder for them to accept when you move on. Tell them this is an adult decision they can’t influence.
The truth is that it is going to being a difficult time for children when their parents separate, so putting you children first by making every effort to reduce their levels of stress and anxiety is highly recommended.
Although it might be ideal that we don’t always experience positive emotions, the negative emotions are as important part of our experience as the positive ones.
Dealing with grief and loss, however, can be a difficult and challenging experience for anyone, especially for a young person still learning to how to manage their emotions.
As a school counsellor, I understand the importance of providing support and guidance to students and their families during these times. Here are some tips and strategies for students and parents to help navigate grief and loss:
For Students
Talk to Someone You Trust
When dealing with grief and loss, it’s important to talk to someone you trust. This can be a friend, a family member, or a school counsellor. Sharing your feelings and emotions can help you process your grief and find comfort and support.
Take Care of Yourself
Taking care of yourself is crucial when dealing with grief and loss. This means getting enough sleep, eating healthy, and engaging in activities that bring you joy. It’s also important to take time for self-care, investing time in meditation, exercise, or hobbies that help you relax.
Connect with Others
Connecting with others who have experienced similar losses can be helpful when dealing with grief. You can join a support group or connect with others online who have gone through similar experiences. Having a community of support can help you feel less alone and provide comfort and understanding.
Loss of Friendship
The loss of a friendship can also be a difficult experience for students. It’s important to remember that it’s okay to grieve the loss of a friendship, and that it’s a natural part of life. You can talk to a school counsellor or trusted adult about your feelings, and try to connect with others who share your interests or hobbies.
Divorce
Divorce can also be a challenging experience for students. It’s important to remember that you are not alone and that many other students have gone through similar experiences. You can talk to a school counsellor or trusted adult about your feelings, and try to maintain a positive relationship with both parents.
For Parents:
Listen and Validate
When your child is dealing with grief and loss, it’s important to listen actively and validate their feelings and emotions. Let your child know that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused and that you are there to support them.
Be Patient
Grief is a process, and it can take time for your child to process their emotions. Be patient and understanding, and let your child take the time they need to grieve. Encourage them to talk to a school counsellor or mental health professional if they need additional support.
Provide Stability and Routine
During times of grief, it can be helpful to provide stability and routine for your child. This means sticking to regular schedules for meals, sleep, and schoolwork, and providing opportunities for relaxation and self-care.
Loss of Friendship
The loss of a friendship can also be a difficult experience for children. It’s important to listen actively to your child’s feelings, and provide them with opportunities to connect with others who share their interests or hobbies.
Divorce
Divorce can also be a challenging experience for children. It’s important to maintain a positive relationship with both parents and avoid putting children in the middle of any conflicts. Encourage your child to talk to a school counsellor or trusted adult about their feelings, and provide them with stability and routine during this difficult time.
Dealing with grief and loss can be a challenging and emotional experience, but it’s important to remember that support is available. As a school counsellor, I am here to provide support and guidance to students and their families.
Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you need assistance or support.
As your child gains a better understanding of their personal emotions and thoughts, they may begin to keep a journal in which they can write down things they prefer to keep private. While checking their journal may be tempting, it’s recommended to respect your children’s space and right to privacy.
When you are cleaning your child’s bedroom, it is quite possible that you may find a diary or notebook with the title similar to this: ‘’My Diary- Don’t touch!’’
Around the age of 8-12, children start to go through a wide range of mixed feelings and emotions. Writing down their feelings and emotions can have a positive effect on their mental health as it can help them to externalize, process, and organize their thoughts and feelings better.
For sure you may be curious about your child’s inner world. You may even be concerned that they may be keeping secrets from you and no longer trust you. However, their journal is an important element in developing an independent voice as they grow older and should be respected.
Diaries are proof that your child is learning there are boundaries between what they think and what they tell you and other people.
A journal provides a secure place for your children to express their feelings, especially those that are typically frowned upon by adults, such as hatred or jealousy. Your child’s writing abilities and memory will also increase by this age, so they’ll find it fascinating to create a private space where they can say whatever they want freely, without fear of adult judgement.
What to do when you find your child’s diary:
1. Don’t read it! You risk losing your child’s trust and affecting confidence if they discover you have read their journal. Most probably, there is just a basic retelling of their day’s happenings.
2. Welcome it. Do not see your child’s journal as an attempt to exclude you. Be pleased that they are developing their ability to reflect on their experiences. Writing in a journal has been shown in studies to lower stress and promote health.
3. Talk about good and bad secrets. It is important to explain why keeping bad secrets can affect us in the long term. Common feelings that we experience when we keep certain types of secrets are: sadness, worry, and fear. A ‘’good secret’’, owever, such as a surprise party or a gift, can give us feelings of excitement. Advise your children to speak with an adult if they are hiding something negative or serious.
4. Stay connected. Spend quality time together so your children have the chance to confide in you. Bring into conversation their friends and their relationship with them. It is common for children to open up more when the setting is neutral, such as in the car or while walking to or from the park. Highlight that you are always available if they need to talk.
5. Take their concerns seriously. Their issues are important to them, even if they look irrelevant to adults. Active listening with your children will help them gain more trust in you and open up about their problems. A good technique to use with them instead of just offering advice is to ask them: ‘’What do you think might help?’’
The world has changed a lot in recent years. Looking back to the time of Shakespeare, the pre-eminent question might have been “To be, or not to be?” In 2023, things have moved on considerably, with the question on many parents’ minds being something more along the lines of, “To give my child a smartphone, or not give my child a smartphone?’
In spite of the fact that many parents and guardians hold off until their children reach double digits before granting them a phone, the technological drive toward developing a digitally connected society may require parents to set some technology rules much sooner than you think.
When should you give your child a smartphone?
A common situation that often creates confusion for parents is when their child asks for a smartphone as a birthday present whilst still in primary school. At this age, many parents think that a phone will help to keep their children safe, but at the same time are not sure if their children are old enough to have one, hearing conflicting views from friends and family that leaves them feeling confused about the best way to proceed.
For a child, a phone is simply a digital toy with multiple functions; a toy that can be used to play games, take photos, listen to music, watch videos, and send messages, just as you are doing. But unlike you, your child isn’t fully developed able to understand that phones, whilst fun, can also be dangerous, affecting their physical and cognitive development, the development of their social skills, and their overall health and wellbeing. The research is clear on this: excessive phone use is not recommended for young children.
You may, however, be tempted to give your child a phone for security reasons in order to be able to contact them easily. Before taking this decision, please consider if they are mature enough to not lose or break it, and if they do, will this lead to arguments? Also, are they likely to be distracted from other important activities, like reading from books and relating with friends and family face to face?
In the end, there is no absolute right answer to this question, though many IT industry leaders, including Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, who are aware of the dangers of smart devices and the algorithms that multimedia sites use, have openly stated that children really should not be given a smart device until they are at least 13 years old, or if they are should certainly have their screen time limited to the minimum possible.
Welcome to the Future
Whilst taking this into account, we must also accept reality, being that we are part of a world where having a smartphone is now normal in society, so it is natural for our children to want one too. Children also to some degree see owning a smartphone as a status symbol and a sign of maturity, that can impress their friends, and a social tool that allows them to connect with their friends and the world around them.
How to respond to your child’s request?
The first option to just say no. Most children have little concept of the value of money, the cost of a phone, and the cost of being connected. Many also think it is their birth-right to have a phone, because their friends have one, rather than something they have to prove they are ready for. Tell them that phones are expensive and that they have to prove they are mature enough and responsible enough to use such a device, and that they will be able to enjoy this privilege when they are older.
Ask what they want to do with a phone. As I mentioned before, most of the time children want a phone to play games, take photos, or message friends. For these activities, they can use a tablet or computer, and don’t actually need a phone. Another alternative is to allow your children restricted access to your phone. In both these situations, their use should be monitored and time limited.
Discuss the downside of technology. In responding to your children’s request for a phone, it is important to point out that people who spend too much time on their phones often develop different types of problems. What is important is to be open about the consequences of using technology too much, such as taking away time from sleeping, studying, talking face to face, playing sports, and spending quality time with others, or going outside to enjoy nature and the world.
Model balanced phone use. What many parents don’t realise is that non-verbal language is much stronger than the verbal. It is useless to tell your child to not to something if you do the opposite. As parents, we also need to put our phones away during meals and other important family times, to show good manners and to teach our child that we value in-person interaction.
Build up gradually. In the end, we have to accept that we all live in a modern world, and so we can’t forbid all technology use, because technology has become a necessity. Even so, it is important to maintain a balance between technology and interpersonal contact for a healthy psychological and physical development. Start your child’s technology journey in a measured way, guiding and monitoring their use step by step, so that in time they become responsible smart device users, navigating the internet in a safe and healthy way.
Delia Ciobanu
IBSB Student Counsellor
Further reading
Students ‘cannot multi-task with mobiles and study’ – BBC News
Nearly four in 10 university students addicted to smartphones, study finds | Health | The Guardian
Screen Time and the Brain | Harvard Medical School
The effect of smartphone use on mental effort, learning, and creativity – ScienceDirect
Holidays are an important time for family members to come together to spend quality time with one another. These Easter holidays should be seen as a great opportunity to take some time off and focus on what’s truly important in life – our relationships with the people we love.
During the holiday break, I encourage all families to take some time to relax and have fun. Whether that means going on a trip, having a staycation, or just spending time at home together, it’s important to prioritise quality time with our loved ones.
It’s also important to remember that holidays can be a difficult time for some people. For those who may not have close relationships with family or who may be experiencing difficult times, holidays can be a reminder of what they don’t have. If you know someone who might be struggling during the holiday season, I would encourage you to reach out and offer your support. Even a simple phone call or message can make a big difference.
In terms of mental health, holidays can have a significant impact on our overall well-being. Taking a break from our regular routines and responsibilities can help us recharge and reset, enabling us to return to our daily lives feeling refreshed and rejuvenated. It’s important to use this time to take care of ourselves – whether that means getting enough rest, engaging in activities we enjoy, or simply taking some time to reflect on our lives and goals.
Therefore, as these Easter holidays, I encourage everyone to take full advantage of this special time to connect with family, enjoy some much-needed rest and relaxation, and prioritize our mental health and well-being over work. Whether you celebrate Easter or not, this holiday is a great opportunity to focus on what truly matters in life – the people we love.
Cristina Latcu
IBSB Student Counsellor
On Friday, March 31, IBSB participated in an International Middle School Debate Competition, hosted by the Cambridge School of Bucharest. Both IBSB teams participating performed exceedingly well, finishing the day undefeated to place 1st and 2nd in the competition standings overall, maintaining the well-established IBSB reputation for excellence in debating.
1st Place
George V. (Y8), David M. (Y8), David F. (Y8), Luca P. (Y8), Dinu P (Y8)
2nd Place
Felix D. (Y9), Irina G. (Y9), Andrei U. (Y9), George P. (Y9), Maia B. (Y8)
Special congratulations Maia B. (Y8) for winning theBest Debater Award, with Felix D. (Y9), and George V. (Y8) officially the 2nd and 3rd highest scoring debaters in the competition.
Thank you to CSB for organising the competition and for the warm welcome and hospitality received throughout the day. We look forward to returning again next year!
Spring has finally arrived, bringing with it longer days, warmer weather, and the promise of new beginnings. However, for some students, this season can also bring a heightened sense of anxiety and depression. It’s important to take care of our mental health, especially during this time of year.
According to the World Health Organization, approximately one in four people in the world will experience some form of mental health issue at some point in their lives.
Spring can be a challenging time for those who struggle with mental health. The sudden changes in weather and daylight can for some disrupt their sleep patterns and mood. Additionally, students may experience added stress as they prepare for exams or the end of the academic year.
It’s important for students to prioritize self-care during this time of year. This can include getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and staying physically active.
As we enter the spring season, it is also important to remember that seasonal affective disorder (SAD) can be a real issue for some people. SAD is a type of depression that occurs during the winter months, but it can also persist into the spring and summer. Symptoms of SAD can include fatigue, feelings of hopelessness, and difficulty concentrating.
Fortunately, there are many things we can do to help support our mental health and well-being. Getting regular exercise, practicing mindfulness and meditation, and staying connected with loved ones are all great ways to reduce stress and improve mood.
Now, with spring in sight and warmer weather, we can combat the negative effects of spring on mental health by spending time outdoors. Studies have shown that spending time in nature can have a positive impact on mental health, reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression. Whether it’s taking a walk in the park, going for a bike ride, or simply sitting outside and enjoying the sunshine, spending time outside can help improve mood and reduce stress.
As we move into spring, let’s prioritize our mental health and take care of ourselves. By practicing self-care and seeking professional help when necessary, we can ensure that we are ready to tackle the challenges of the season and enjoy all that spring has to offer.
Parenting a child with special needs for life can be a substantial challenge. They may have behaviours or medical problems that create extra stress and difficulties for the parents, which can cause parents to feel a degree of anxiety. Thankfully, there are strategies that parents can use to overcome the challenges of parenting a child with special needs.
1. Educate yourself about your child’s condition. This means learning about their diagnosis, treatments, and prognosis. You should also become familiar with any services that are available to help support your child. This will provide you with the information you need to make informed decisions about your child’s care.
2. Build a strong support system. This includes family members, friends, and professionals who can help provide emotional and practical support. Having a strong support system in place can reduce the stress of parenting a child with special needs and make it easier to manage the challenges.
3. Reach out to support networks that may be available. There are many support networks available for parents of children with special needs. These networks can provide valuable information and resources, as well as emotional support. Parents should make an effort to find and connect with other parents in similar situations to share experiences and offer support.
4. Be flexible and patient. Parenting a child with special needs can be unpredictable, and you may need to adjust your approach and expectations as needed. Additionally, it is important to be patient with your child and yourself. Taking time to recognize your successes and acknowledge your mistakes will help you stay focused on your goals.
5. Take care of yourself. One of the most important things a parent of a child with special needs can do is to make sure they are taking care of themselves. This means getting enough rest, eating a balanced diet, and engaging in activities that are relaxing and enjoyable. This is a very important aspect that unfortunately too many parents are skipping, thinking that it is selfish or that they don’t have enough time. By taking care of yourselves, you will be better equipped to handle the demands of parenting a child with special needs. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed and worrying too much, you may want to consult a professional to help you manage your emotions and parenting life. Taking care of your mental health as a parent will have positive effect not only on you, but also on your children and family.
When it comes to parenting children with special needs, parents tend to develop moral qualities that can change their life perspective for the better. Your child is unique, but also you as a parent are unique. Being part of your child’s journey can help you develop more strength, gratitude, resilience compassion, patience, and an overall better understanding of yourself and your values.
Delia Ciobanu
IBSB Student Counsellor
No matter how much we wish our decisions were based on sound logic and reason, cognitive bias often leads us to make faulty decisions due to a systematic error in our thinking. Cognitive (information- processing) biases affects all areas of our life, including parenting.
Here are some tips to avoid cognitive biases in your parenting process.
A common bias occurs when we believe our children have the same needs as we had in the past when we were children. For instance, if you experienced being overly controlled by your parents when you were a child, you may be biased towards granting your own children more freedom and independence than you had. This could be in the form of not wanting to interject in their decisions or influence them in any way. However, it is important to remember the needs of children have changed and evolved over time, and may not be the same as when you were growing up.
If you were the kind of person who was capable of making decisions independently, your child may not be the same way and require more direction. Refusing to provide your child with guidance because of your own experiences with your parents may have a negative psychological impact, causing them to feel neglected or insignificant.
Rather than making assumptions based on your own childhood experience, it is better to ask your child what their needs are in different situations if you are unsure.
The research indicates that childhood trauma can lead to cognitive biases, such as attributing causes to external forces, misinterpretations, and drawing false conclusions. This can manifest itself in the parenting process, leading to distress and emotional imbalance for the child. When we struggle to build a relationship with ourselves, it can be difficult to also create a bond with our children. Thus, it is important to recognize when we might be overreacting to our children due to past experiences, rather than the present.
Parenting is an incredibly rewarding experience that helps us to better understand ourselves and the world around us. It provides an opportunity to develop our capacity to love, nurture, and support another person. The challenges of parenting can be both rewarding and difficult. From sleepless nights to stressful days, parenting can be a challenge, but it is an important part of adult life.
If you find that your emotions and reactions are at times overwhelming, it may be worthwhile seeking professional assistance to help maintain a healthy relationship with your family.
Delia Ciobanu
IBSB Student Counsellor
This week, IBSB organised a parent workshop where we talked about the feelings of guilt and shame that parents often experience.
There is no secret that being a parent can trigger the most beautiful emotions out of us, but also the worst. When we are feeling overwhelmed by guilt and shame, we tend to control the outside and ultimately our children.
It is important to know that emotions labelled as negative are meant to move us toward change. Those ‘’negative’’ emotions are meant to feel uncomfortable, because without discomfort, we wouldn’t be motivated to change anything.
What is guilt?
It is a feeling triggered when we act against our own set of values or principles: ‘’I’ve done something wrong…’’
By identifying our own values and trying to adapt our parenting style according to our values, we can reduce the feeling of guilt.
What is shame?
It is the pain experienced of believing that you are inferior, defective in some way, in part or whole, feeling ‘’there is something wrong with me’’. Shame is triggered when we fail to reach a standard or ideal. It tells you that you need to control other people’s opinion of you. Or else you hide so they don’t consider you at all. The lie is that if you can get others to accept you, you will feel acceptable.
Parenting roles
In our daily life we play different roles: the role of a mother, friend, wife, husband, manager, etc. Also, when we are parenting we may adopt different roles. The most common roles in parenting are the ‘’rescuer’’ and ‘’ coach’’. None of these roles are wrong. The secret is to adopt a conscious way of parenting and understand when is the moment to be a rescuer or a coach for your kid.
Rescuer
Parents who sees themselves as protectors tend to prevent their kids from making mistakes. They don’t want anything bad to happen to them. If you see your role as more of a rescuer, your goal may be to protect your child and their happiness.
Coach
Parents who view themselves as guides or teachers or managers know that mistakes enable children to learn. They are willing to let their children make their own way through the world and don’t try to define success for them.
Releasing guilt and shame
When we are spending too much time in the role of a protector or rescuer we take on too much responsibility. We are not letting the children find their own path in life, which can lead to feelings of guilt and shame in the long term. As parents, we need to create space in our children’s life for mistakes and pain. Only through experience will they learn how to cope with their own emotions and feelings later in life.
Another way to help you cope with guilt is to identify which are the situations when you need to adopt the role of rescuer or a guide. Once you become aware of these roles, you may notice how some of your responsibilities simply fade away by realising the feeling of guilt and shame.
During the workshop this week, participants offered some insights based on their personal experiences and gained new perspectives by listening to others talk about their parenting style.
If this has sparked your curiosity, we invite you to our next workshop sessions in order to support you on your parenting journey.
Delia Ciobanu
IBSB Student Counsellor
QUICK FACTS:
Chronic Absenteeism (missing more than 10% of days enrolled for any reason) is the single strongest predictor of students achieving grades below their potential.
Students who miss a month or more of kindergarten, for example, are likely to perform poorly in Year 1, particularly in reading.
By Year 7, a pattern of chronic absence becomes a key indicator of students unlikely to succeed at university. Research also shows that student success in Year 10 is a good indicator they are likely to graduate high school with a good set of grades.
HOW CAN I HELP MY CHILD?
• Let your child know that you think school is important
• Make sure your child goes to school regularly and on time
• Take an interest in your child’s school work
• Set a regular bedtime schedule. Age should not be a factor
• Provide your child with plenty of time to get ready for school
• Provide regular times and a quiet, clean area for doing homework
• Maintain regular communication with the school.
• If your child is ill, contact the school and explain the reason for the absence
• Don’t expect your older children to stay home and act as babysitters for younger children
• Set a good example and enforce rules
• Include regular exercise and a balanced diet in your child’s daily activities
• Post the school calendar and notes on the refrigerator, or another prominent location
• Limit and balance extracurricular activities
• Keep open communication lines with your child
ATTENDANCE
Talking to your child, regarding the importance of attendance, is another example of responsible parenting.
More on Daily Attendance:
Children who miss school miss out on opportunities to learn, build lasting friendships, and develop the skills and attitudes needed to become good citizens and valued employees. There is a clear connection between student attendance and student performance in school. Data shows that higher attendance equals higher achievement for all students.
Strategies To Get To School On Time & Be Responsible:
The night before:
• Finish all homework
• Put your work in the backpack and in a place ready to go (by the door). Shower or Bathe in the evening so you don’t have to in the morning
• Prepare your clothes to be ready for the next day
• Make lunch if you don’t get a school lunch
• Set your alarm clock
• Get a good night sleep
The morning of school:
• Get up right when the alarm goes off or when parent/guardian comes to wake you up
• Get dressed right away
• Clean up and brush your teeth without reminders from your parents
• Eat your breakfast early to ensure you have enough time
• Remind others we need to BE ON TIME!
• Help others who need it!
• Don’t forget your backpack and homework
• Leave enough time to drive or walk and participate in the Line Up before 8:30am
We all want our children to be confident, eager learners, so when your children’s anxieties about their abilities make them think it’s not worth trying, they’ll need your help to cope with their sense of rising self-doubt and to embrace the idea that “I can’t do it” comes with a “…yet!”
‘’I can’t do it’’, is a common response when your children feel anxious that they don’t know what to do. This anxiety triggers the fight-or-flight response in their brain, which means the rational part stops working, and so they really cannot work out how to tackle the task, whatever it may be.
In response to this situation, you may feel frustrated or worried that your child tends to give up too quickly and easily, whenever they are not instantly successful. Your first instinct will likely be to give them a pep talk and tell them they can do it, but they won’t believe you because your words do not match their feelings.
It takes courage to keep trying with difficult tasks. Your child hasn’t yet learned that feeling stuck is temporary. They interpret their struggle as a sign that they lack ability, so they feel hopeless, and as such they need your support to persevere past self-doubt.
TO BELIEVE IT, CHILDREN NEED MANY EXPERIENCES SHOWING THAT EFFORT LEADS TO PROGRESS.
How to respond in the moment:
In the long term:
Above all else, be patient, positive, and optimistic that tomorrow will deliver a brighter day.
Parenting is a beautiful contradiction. A push and pull, the of shedding parts that no longer serve us, losing ourselves and finding more of ourselves. Without a doubt, parenting is the ultimate highway to personal growth. And nothing brings our shadows into focus more than the reflections our children offer. While we try to teach our children all about life, it is our children who often unknowingly teach us what life is all about. Here are some lessons we can learn from our children.
We live in a society where we seem to cherish material achievements more than anything. It is easy to get lost into illusions, such as the belief that you can only be happy when you will achieve X and Y. We all too often forget that life is about what is happening now. Pure joy comes from the small and sometimes unexpected things. Small children show us this daily: the happiness on their face when they see you, the joy when they play a game. Small children don’t need lots of material things in order to be happy, they just need our attention and our love.
We all too often carry prejudices and fears of what people may think or say about us. Sometimes this is one of the main reason why we don’t let ourselves live a fulfilling life. In this respect, it is worthwhile taking the time to watch your children or to remember when they were small. Children truly enjoy themselves, laugh, and have fun because they are not worrying or watching out for what people think or say about them. They live in the moment and enjoy life to the full
Someone once said: when we lose our sense of curiosity, it’s almost like we die a little inside. Therefore, continue to ask the simple questions and to be curious about life, enjoying the process of learning new things, and remember that curiosity leads us towards self-fulfilment, to start asking questions again! The average child is said to ask 100 questions a day. How many to ask?
Adults don’t often speak freely. We’re afraid of our words being misinterpreted or worse still rejected, or of what other people will say, or of bothering other people. When we always say what we think other people want to hear, and not what we really think or feel, we don’t feel good inside. Children often show us how to express ourselves sincerely without feeling guilty about respecting others needs and boundaries. Their blunt honesty is often refreshing, even humorous, because there is never any ill will attached and we sense this.
Have you ever seen a child fall without getting up? Life works the same way. It’s usually our minds that limit us. Our fear of failing often anchors us to the spot, and so we cease to move forward along the path ahead.
It is important to be aware that children often trigger wounds from our past. Take the time needed to reflect on your own self-development. We are parents who are healing generational wounds and shaping future generations. To create a more connected and emotionally healthy world, we must walk hand-in-hand with the child-parts of ourselves and the little humans who we are parenting. When we bridge the gap, we realize that we aren’t that different. In fact, we are on the exact same team, learning and growing together.
If you are curious to know more about your inner child and to learn how to stop reacting to triggers, I highly recommend reading Healing your lost inner child, by Robert Jackman.
Many children get set a certain amount of homework once they start elementary school, with the amount steadily increasing year on year. For many children, though, when they come after a day of lessons, the last thing they want to do is sit down and do more schoolwork, actively seeking out excuses to avoid it.
‘’Homework is boring!‘’
The first step is to clarify whether your child does in fact have homework, and then maybe to discover what your child means when she says homework is boring. Do they mean that it’s not as fun as playing or that that they are not sure how to do it? Once you’ve listened, understood, and helped them look at the task, they are more likely to get down to it.
Your child is learning the skills and self-discipline they need to do homework. Don’t get angry with their repeated refusals. It’s tempting to help them do it, but that would send the wrong message—that if they make enough fuss, you’ll do it for them. Your role as a parent is to give them good habits and show them how to become responsible.
‘’I don’t want to do this homework’’
At this developmental stage, sitting and listening in school all day takes a lot of self-control. An after-school snack will help your child refuel. Some kids do best getting homework out of the way early; others need a play before starting homework.
To begin, don’t stress yourself out about the situation. At your child’s age, practicing a bit of math or reading at home can help them gain academic skills and confidence, but learning through play is still essential. If homework becomes dreaded, painful, or lengthy, talk to your child’s teacher about how to modify it. Fewer or easier problems, fewer days, and mental rather than written practice are all options.
Stay positive and close. Model a positive attitude toward schoolwork. If you see it as a dreaded chore, so will your child. Sitting nearby—working cheerfully on your own “homework”—may make it easier for your child to start or continue her work. You’re also available if they have questions.
In the long term you can use the next strategies:
Use “when…then…” Tell your child, “When you do your homework without complaining, then we have time to play a short game together.” This provides a visible goal and reward as extrinsic motivation until the intrinsic motivation eventually develops.
Set up a homework base. Create a place for your children to do their homework. Clear away any distractions, such as devices and toys, and equip it with all they need— pencils, erasers, and crayons.
Make it fun. Being playful can make homework more fun. Set up an audience of admiring stuffed animals to watch your child do work. Use a puppet who gets excited when she gets a problem right. Dance or move to make math facts active. Talk with a silly accent. Read books on topics they find fascinating.
Helping kids work through homework challenges can be tricky, but in the end, it helps them be more independent and confident student.
I hope this has been of some practical help to you. Good luck!
Your children love you and want to be with you, so when your job takes you away or intrudes into the time you have together, they may feel disappointed or resentful. For the same reason, they may also ask, “Why do I have to go to school?”
“Why do you have to go to work?”
This question is not a philosophical pondering of the complexities of work-family balance. Your children are just frustrated that you can’t do something they want you to do. They like it when you take them to school and would protest any obstacle to that.
“I have to do what I have to do.”
Every family’s solutionto managing work and childcare carries pros and cons. If you are matter-of-fact about the solution that works best for your family right now, your children will be, too. Occasional grumbling doesn’t necessarily mean there’s a problem.
“I wish Mommy could always do what I want her to do.”
You know all the reasons why you work, but your children only vaguely understand that you go to work, just like they go to school, and sometimes you can’t do what they want because of work. Your attitude toward your work will influence theirs.
MODEL A POSITIVE ATTITUDE TOWARD WORK, BUT AVOID LETTING IT SPILL INTO FAMILY TIME.
How to respond to your children:
While reading a few articles on how to train our mind to stay focused and how to deal with challenging situations, I found a very interesting resource that could shed some light onto the subject. It is called ‘The Habits of Mind’.
The Habits of Mind nourishes students’ social-emotional learning and aims to improve the performance of students under challenging conditions. This is particularly useful when students feel overwhelmed by the exam session, because it instills discipline into their thinking.
Clicking on the link attached here https://core-docs.s3.amazonaws.com/documents/asset/uploaded_file/1658111/Habits_of_Mind_Full_Chart.pdf you will learn how to identify each thinking pattern, when they are helpful, and most importantly, how to use them to your benefit!
We use the term “Habits of Mind” to mean having a disposition toward behaving intelligently when confronted with problems to which we do not immediately know the answers. When humans experience dichotomies, are confused by dilemmas, or come face to face with uncertainties, our most effective actions require drawing forth certain patterns of intellectual behaviour. When we draw upon these intellectual resources, the results that we produce are more powerful, of higher quality, and of greater significance than if we fail to employ those patterns of intellectual behaviours.
Employing Habits of Mind requires a composite of many skills, attitudes, cues, past experiences, and proclivities. It means that we value one pattern of thinking over another, and therefore it implies choice making about which pattern should be employed at which time. It includes sensitivity to the contextual cues in a situation signalling that it is an appropriate time and circumstance to employ this pattern. It requires a level of skilfulness to employ and carry through the behaviours effectively over time. Finally, it leads individuals to reflect on, evaluate, modify, and carry forth to future applications their learnings.
For a more detailed reading, you can access this link: https://thesystemsthinker.com/habits-of-mind-strategies-for-disciplined-choice-making/
As an international school with a large and growing community of international families, the experience of relocation is something that many of our families have to deal with on a regular basis.
To small children, home is their entire world, so the sight of it being dismantled in front of their very eyes can be overwhelming. By trying to consider the experience from their point of view, there is a lot you can do to help him settle sooner.
Moving is one of life’s most stressful experiences. And while some children will view it as a huge adventure – depending on age, temperament, and circumstances – others will focus on the loss of leaving their old home and everything familiar.
Unless you explain it to them in a language and in way that they understand, children may also be confused by what’s happening. For example, they may not realise that they can take all their belongings with them or that their pets can come too. They may also be anxious to see the familiar objects they have grown up with—including their toys—disappear into huge boxes. If you’re relocating, older children in particular will worry about starting a new school and finding new friends. Taking a little time to help your child understand what to expect can make the transition smoother for the whole family.
Tell your child that a home is not about the building, but the love that happens inside.
Prepare for change. Take your child on a tour of your new home. Explain the process so they understand it is switching from living in one place to another, not going on vacation.
Explain why you are packing. If you start putting children’s things into huge boxes, your child may think they are disappearing for good or getting thrown away. Explain that they are just being stored safely for the move and he will see them again soon.
Enlist your child’s help. No matter your child’s age, moving feels like a decision made by adults. Help your children feel more in control by asking them to help with packing, for example, by putting their favourite things in a special box. Let them draw or write on the boxes to keep them busy and to show what’s inside.
Let them make future plans: to help your child feel more comfortable in his new home, give them as many safe choices as possible about how to make it cozy. Maybe they could choose the colour of their new bedroom, arrange their stuffed animals, or decide where the bookcase goes.
Pack up their old room last and unpack the new one first. Having a safe place with all his things at your new home will help your child feel more secure. Put their boxes into the moving van last so they are immediately at hand when you arrive.
Get childcare on moving day. Moving is stressful for everyone, so ask a close friend, relative or sister to take your child out for the day. You will be able to give your full attention once everything is moved in.
Be upbeat. Even if your family’s new changes are the result of a job loss or parental separation, be upbeat. Children pick up on and take in parents’ feelings. If you feel ready to make the best of it, so will they.
Stick to a routine. Your child needs predictability to feel at home. Follow the usual bath and bedtime routine as soon as you are in your new place. This lets your child now that whatever else is changing, he ca always rely on things to happen.
January is considered the most depressing month of the year, meaning that our mood is generally lower, the level of energy is decreasing, and we do not really feel “like ourselves” anymore. If these changes persist, we start wondering if we are depressed or if we will snap out of it.
Studies show that anaemia and depression are two health conditions that may have some associations. Research suggests that people with anaemia may in fact develop symptoms of depression, such as low mood, low self-esteem, and loss of interest in daily activities.
What is the link between anaemia and depression?
A 2022 study published in the Journal of Affective Disorders indicates that people with anaemia may develop depression as a result of:
Research is still ongoing, but what we already know might help to explain why therapy on its own might not be efficient for everyone. If a person experiences symptoms of anaemia, depression, or both, they should contact a doctor immediately.
The studies available on this topic, which are well worth reading, can be found at these hyperlinks:
www.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/acps.12595
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK499994/
www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165032722006759
There are many ways to lead a sustainable life. One that could potentially impact our planet more than others is the eating habits we have; eating organic food is an important cycle that can reduce the use of plastic, and decrease the amount of animal waste and animal abuse. In a world full of artificial tastes, unhealthy restaurants, and harmful food habits, our health is in peril, and as such it is vital to treat our bodies well and to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the animals we have been intrusted to protect.
An important way we can work together as a school community and wider society to reduce animal waste and abuse, by eating bio organic vegetarian food at home and when going out eating to restaurants. Finding vegetarian and vegan, organic food in Bucharest can be challenging, but there are some great choices available.
FruFru is a restaurant that has products displayed on shelves in supermarkets. Their products have an expiration date of two days, because they are super fresh, their product ingredients are honest and clean. Their products are directly from the source, so they can control the quality, with vegan and vegetarian options always on offer, and they reuse all their products, all packaging is recycled or recyclable, so there’s little waste.
Bistro Raw & Vegan is a restaurant and market that is working on creating healthy, delicious food that can excite people, whilst working with beneficial and invigorating ingredients to satisfy the body. They wish to show that health is not a series of restrictions, a diet, or a detox program, but a tasty balance. It’s simple: you eat healthy, you feel good, the energy you receive helps you continue your daily plans with gusto. This is what these restaurants want to give to you.
Sublimme is a vegan coffee shop and restaurant, serving desserts only with vegetal ingredients, not thermally processed, which means they keep their nutrients fully intact. Their products do not contain refined sugar, but are sweetened with organic agave syrup and dates, without containing flour, milk, eggs, or gluten. The nuts and seeds that they make are also rich in fibre, protein, minerals, vitamins, antioxidants and essential fatty acids. For all those who want a healthy sweet, for diabetics, for children, for those who have allergies and intolerances to gluten and lactose, for pregnant or breastfeeding women, for those on a keto diet, so…for everyone who loves sweets, this is a great option.
Sara Green, the first Fast-Food vegan in Romania, was born out of love, for children, for humans, and for nature. They want to offer gluten-free, vegan, burgers, wraps, salads, and sweets. In the centre of Bucharest you’re able to eat the most delicious foods, enjoying the rapid service as well as the wonderful flavours.
Eating healthy, reducing animal cruelty, recyclable food will create a better lifestyle for you and the rest of the world, so I hope you will consider starting now and support this great local restaurants to ensure they thrive and that more options open up.
Ariana Ciju
IBSB EcoWarrior
It’s upsetting when your child tells you that others have been mean to him. It’s also natural to want to protect your child from hurt. But as children learn to socialize, they need to learn to cope with a degree of “normal” social pain.
For example, a scenario would be when your child tells you that other boy wouldn’t let him join in their game at break time.
‘’They’re being mean to me!’’
Kids can be mean.They’re impulsive and their empathy isn’t fully developed, so it’s likely that at some point your child will be teased or excluded. Your child might also misinterpret neutral or thoughtless actions as deliberate meanness.
‘’Is my child being bullied? Do I need to do something?’’
Not every unkind actcounts as bullying.
Bullying involves deliberate meanness, usually over a period of time and often by a child who is bigger,
tougher, or more socially powerful than the one being targeted. Kids can learn to handle ordinary meanness, but bullying requires adult intervention.
“I’m angry and hurt and a little bit scared. I wish a grown-up would make them be nice to me!”
Learning to handle conflict and ordinary meanness is an essential social skill. Offer comfort and ask what happened, step by step, to discover the details, so you can correct misunderstandings or help your child cope
AS A PARENT, YOUR JOB IS TO TEACH HIM TO DEAL WITH FRIENDSHIP ISSUES HIMSELF.
Ways to respond when your child is facing difficulties with friendships:
Delia Ciobanu
IBSB Student Counsellor
How does a beautiful baby grow up to be a bully—or to abduct, rape, or shoot another human being? At the extreme, how does such an innocent infant become a sociopath or psychopath?
I propose that it’s often not discipline that’s lacking, but a connection to the child’s feelings that’s been severed. Any disciplinary tactics the parent used is not enough and can perpetuate the child’s feeling of disconnection. Lack of heart creates the bully, the criminal, the rapist, and the psychopath, not a lack of discipline. Discipline is good and needed, but when is not accompanied with warmth and love, it can cause more harm.
As a feeling of unworthiness wells up in the child, they are left with only two possible recourses. The first is to stuff their feelings down, which leads to anxiety or self-harm, such as eating disorders or cutting, and in severe cases depression. The second is for the child to project onto others how badly they feel about themselves. Disempowered, they seek to disempower others. Treated like an object, they objectify others.
Lack of heart creates the bully, the criminal, the rapist, and the psychopath, not a lack of discipline.
When a child’s own voice has been either neglected or bullied into silence, the child can no longer respond to this voice, which is how they lose touch with the natural empathy of one human for another. Terrible things can then result, both for the individual and for those who cross their path.
When we respond to a behaviour such as hitting with the same kind of behaviour, we send our children a lethal message: “It’s okay to hit if you’re an adult, but not okay if you are small and powerless.” If a child hits, it’s often because they feel disempowered in some way. Hitting them for hitting someone only serves to further disempower them, which in turn increases their need to defend themselves, leading to further hitting for self-protection and thereby creating a bully
A parent needs to invest time and energy into redirecting the child each time the child lashes out, teaching them how to use other forms of communication.
The manner in which we ourselves respond to frustration can help our child develop a repertoire of more helpful responses to their feeling of powerlessness. Instead of disciplining children, which is inevitably directed toward compliance, parents need to teach their child to know their feelings and not be afraid to speak up if something isn’t right. Coming to our children’s aid when a situation becomes severe is important, but it’s also essential that we are attuned to their needs from a young age and teach them to be fearless when it comes to being their own advocates.
Again, the issue is that parents who are disconnected from their own true feelings and needs will often fail to help their children, since they can’t connect in the way their children require. Our disconnection manifests in the chasm between mind versus heart, doing versus being, ideology versus practice, institutionalized religion versus spirituality, and countless other ways.
If we are to end bullying, all eyes need to turn to the parent-child relationship. Intervention programs at school can only touch the surface level of this complex problem, which has far deeper roots. Intervention needs to begin in the family at an early age, so that children learn to stand up for themselves. When a child is honoured for the unique individuals they are, they feel no need to assert themselves in an unhealthy manner.
If you enjoyed reading the article and you are eager to learn more, I recommend you one of my favourite parenting books: Out of control: why disciplining your child doesn’t work and what will, by Shefali Tsabary.
If you are worried that your child is being bullied in school, out of school, or online, please be sure to speak to a member of staff. Here is a short article you might like to read to help identify some of the signs that may indicate that your child is experiencing bullying behaviour at school:
Parents Should Play Their Part To Prevent Bullying In Schools – KoKoa Magazine
On Monday, October 10, Year 6 travelled to Cheile Gradistei near Bran for a teambuilding residential trip, staying for two nights. Excitement was building Monday morning and continued during the 3-hour journey towards the mountains, with the first afternoon spent playing different team games, followed by a relaxing swim and chillout in the Jacuzzi, which the kids all really enjoyed. In the evening, the three-course dinner was delicious and very well received, including a scrumptious desert. Needless to say, after such a busy day, everyone was early to bed and sleep like a log.
Tuesday, however, was where the fun really began as we visited Brasov Zoo and explored the grounds, viewing the many animals they were looking after, including seeing a huge brown bear having his breakfast and the monkeys swinging around. Next up was a trip to the Planetarium, where we watched an animated Space show that had everyone wanting to travel into space. For the afternoon, we split into two groups, both of which showed incredible confidence and resilience completing the Aventura Parc climbing track, including two zip-lines. We also went tubing down a slippery slope and tested our speed skills karting down a hill with a lot of twists and turns.
It was clear that a lot of fun was had by all children and staff on this residential, which offers the children a fantastic opportunity to gain more independence and develop new skills and friendships. I still have many fond memories of the residentials I went on as a child at school, which I am sure the Year 6 children will also have when they look back in years to come.
Tom Wilson
Year 6W Teacher
The annual IBSB CAS Open Day took place this year on Wednesday, September 07, with several charitable organisations presenting their work to our 6th Form students participating in the Duke of Edinburgh Award and Community Action Service Programme.
Our students were enthusiastic to find out more about Light into Europe and their guide dog programme, listened with empathy to the information shared by Touched Romania, a charity that provides viable alternatives to child abandonment, showed great interest in the work carried out by Speranta pentru Tine, offering support to the children hospitalised with serious chronic illnesses, and were impressed by the visible difference made by Punctul Nordic, working to educate and empowering children living in disadvantaged communities. Help Autism also joined us, offering an interactive, eye-opening presentation that allowed the participants to understand the importance of therapy and integration for children on the autistic spectrum and how they can contribute as volunteers.
Some of the most popular presentations were those given by the Animal Welfare group along with our guests from Bruno, the Animal Shelter and Visul Luanei, an organisation involved in wildlife rescue and public education about wildlife.
Paper Tree, our school’s green project, attracted many young people keen on playing an active part in environmental protection.
Our students also found out about the work of Hospice – Casa Sperantei, one of the largest medical non-profit organisations in Romania, activating in the field of palliative care.
A new project we will support this year is Adopta O Casa La Rosia Montana, raising funds for the conservation of historical monuments and buildings at Rosia Montana, a UNESCO world heritage site.
We know for a fact that our students have been inspired to commit to these initiatives, as this week our Sixth Formers were interviewed, received their placements as volunteers, and so all our CAS projects are ready begin. We wish all our students the very best as they work to make a positive change in the lives of those less fortunate.
The Y11-13 science students received a visit from a special guest this week. IBSB Alumni 2020, Bogdan Iorgulescu, stopped by to share his experience studying ‘Materials with Nuclear Engineering’ at Imperial College London, currently ranked #6 in the world on the QS University Tables, 2023. Having just completed his second year at Imperial, Bogdan is well-positioned to offer firsthand insight to the application process, life in London, and more specifically, studying toward a BSc at Imperial College. In fact, the students enjoyed his 2 hour presentation so much that the Q&A was still going strong when bell rang signalling the end of the school day.
Alumni Q&A visits are just one of the many forms of career and university application support on offer to the students at IBSB, with Christie Vernon stopping by to speak about her first year studying ‘Natural Sciences’ at Magdalen College Oxford, just two weeks prior. I wonder who the next IBSB Alumni to stop by will be?
Zoe Popovici
I enjoyed Bogdan’s visit greatly, as he explained very clearly the impact of A level choice of subject, and told us what life is like at university. He answered all our questions patiently and in great detail — even taking his time to answer questions we didn’t even ask! This definitely helped me to understand and think more about my future.
David Kiiovschi
It was an eye-opening presentation with many practical aspects shared, such as the cost of living in London and the day to day experience and conditions there.
Andrei Stere
This was an enlightening experience with Bogdan offering us greater insight into the academic expectations from universities in London, as well as the social aspects of university life. The talk was particularly useful as he discussed the various issues he faced with accommodation and how to address them. We also discussed transportation and how to tackle budgeting, which was really valuable information.
Andrei Voiculescu
Bogdan offered a very informative and fair report of his experience as a student at Imperial College. He presented a number of insights into some of the subjects or courses at university that I and my classmates would like to pursue, which was really helpful and kind. He also kept the presentation concise, including amusing remarks related to the subject, which made the experience not just informative, but also entertaining. Overall, we were able to benefit from his firsthand experience and advice, so I’m really happy that we had the chance to attend his presentation.
Over the last few decades, our purchasing power in most developed countries has tripled. However, this has not translated into higher quality of life or better sense of wellbeing. By some estimates, depression rates have actually increased as much as ten times in the same time frame, particularly in young adolescents.
Thankfully, there are some simple things we can do to help our children cope with their busy lives, friendships, school, big feelings, and just feeling overwhelmed and overloaded. We teach them how to manage feelings by providing them with age appropriate strategies and tools, we then let them have a go. We don’t interfere in the process, even if they get angry and frustrated, then we ask them to reflect on their choices and the outcomes that result from those choices.
When we feel capable and empowered, we feel confident in our ability to look after ourselves and to solve problems. The more we practice making decisions and solving problems, the more capable and empowered we feel. This creates an ongoing pattern of positive feedback.
Even if it may seem difficult to cease trying to control a situation, ultimately we want our children to have these little victories as often as possible to gain the feeling that they are at the helm in control of their life. We should start small to ensure success, and in time these small successes will provide an enormous benefit to their self-esteem. Most of us have experienced the exhilaration of overcoming a fear, or mastering something we didn’t think we could, and how invincible we felt afterwards. This is the feeling we all want for our children.
For further information and useful resources on the topic of empowering your children to make positive decisions in their lives, please take a look at What’s the Buzz? by Mark LeMessurier and Madhavi Nawana Parker and The Resilience and Wellbeing Toolbox by Madhavi Nawana Parker.
www.wellbeingforkids.com.au
Preparing for the new school year at IBSB involves so much more than simply preparing for classes in the many subjects offered, or the extracurricular enrichment programme, with the wide range of clubs on offer in combination with the trips and guest visitors and interschool events. An extremely important aspect of school readiness is providing our staff with the appropriate Health and Safety training, Medic First Aid training, Fire and Earthquake training, and Child Safeguarding training needed to ensure the health and wellbeing of all the students in our care, which includes having a full time nurse and 2 fully qualified child psychologists available on campus to support the students and staff each and every day. At IBSB, you can be absolutely confident that your children are in safest hands!
Congratulations to Andrei Peli (9K) and Andrei Ghita (11H) for reaching the Grand Final of the COBIS World Music Competition 2022.
Both students made it through to the final two of their respective categories: Middle School Piano Solo and High School Contemporary Solo. Results from the Grand Final will be released on Sunday, May 08.
Please join us in wishing both students the very best of luck!
This week, the students of IBSB rose to the formidable challenge of hosting the 1st edition of IBSBMUN on the main school campus.
With the clock ticking, and the winds of fortune blowing in our favour (COVID restrictions were lifted just days before the planed start of the event) the organising committee launched into action, working over-time to ensure the success of this event.
The conference, attended by approximately 100 students from 8 schools, addressed important current issues in each of the five committees (ECOSOC, UNHRC, ICC, EUCO, HSC), and start with a training session for beginners and intermediate level participants before the official Opening Ceremony,which took place on Friday, March 11th, with Her Excellency the Turkish Ambassador to Romania, Ms Aramaz, Colin Lovering, Chairman of the BRCC, and Neil McGregor, Former BRCC Chair and Current Board Member, formally welcomed onto campus as the events headline guest speakers by Head of School, Kendall Peet.
Over the course of the two day conference, committee sessions were kept engaging by introducing a series of unexpected crises (a rarity in other MUNs) in specific committees – such as the kidnapping of the Chinese delegate from HSC, a French representative getting arrested for smuggling Russian contraband, and in ICC, Putin was tried for war crimes – to successfully keep the delegates on their toes, as they tackled not only the main topic of discussions, but also had a crash course in crisis management. Added to this were fun activities such as the trading game (buying and selling barrels of oil based on news stories).
Throughout the event, the press team, representing a plethora of news agencies from around the world, reported on committee proceedings through the respective lenses of their political perspectives. To read their articles and view a selection of event photos, please visit: https://mun.ibsb.ro/blog
“Having hosted the first two editions of the World COBIS MUN in 2016 and 2018, it was clear that we had a high standard to maintain,” said IBSBMUN Coordinator Dr Blessy Savu “and the students certainly did not disappoint”.
The IBSBMUN provided the perfect platform to showcase student leadership and engagement throughout the conference, which ended with the official Closing Ceremony on Sunday afternoon, with Head of Secondary Matt Tansley inviting Eduard Iosiper, Director for EU General Affairs, and Andrei Dogaru, IBSB Head Boy (2016), to say a few words before the presentation of student awards and the closing gesture by the organising committee.
Thank you to the student organising committee, Dr Blessy Savu, the admin team, the attending delegates and chairs and staff from the participating school, the guest speakers, and our event Sponsors, Deloitte, Pro Business Solutions, and AQUA Carpatica for making this event possible.
See you at IBSBMUN 2023!
There is no denying the impact COVID-19 pandemic has had on the mental health and wellbeing of our children. Levels of depression and anxiety are on the rise.
Delia Ciobanu
Student Counsellor
International British School of Bucharest
There is no denying the impact COVID-19 pandemic has had on the mental health and wellbeing of our children. Levels of depression and anxiety are on the rise.
As social beings, human connection and relationships are essential to maintaining a sense of positive mental health and wellbeing. Increased isolation, associated with the recent pandemic, has unfortunately impacted significantly on the state of mental health of our children, teaching us that we need to take as much care of our children’s mental health and well-being as we do their physical health- being inter-connected and of equal importance.
One way to help our children maintain a sense of mental well-being is to create healthy habits, which help them to feel stronger, happier, safer, and more in control of their lives.
Imagine that your body and mind are like a car. In order to function well, it needs good quality fuel: you can’t put soft drink in and expect it to run smoothly. Just like a car, you need to fuel your mind and body with healthy, nourishing foods, positive thoughts, and affirmative action to function well.
Having healthy habits can help our children establish and develop positive, healthy relationships with friends and colleagues, increase levels of concentration leading to improved academic results, and provide the energy and drive needed to engage in life in a positive, healthy way both in and outside school.
The essential healthy habits for our children are:
• Healthy eating
• Physical activity
• Quality sleep
• Positive thoughts (and expressing gratitude)
In addition to these four factors, studies have identified the follow core factors that can contribute to our children’s well-being.
Here are a few suggestions:
• Join a local club based on your interests
• Find time to spend with family and friends
• Ring someone or speak to them face-to-face instead of sending a message
• If you are having a difficult day at school, try and speak to someone about how you are feeling
Here are a few suggestions:
• Get involved in sporting activity; exercise increases the release of endorphins and endorphins trigger positive feelings
• Get enough good quality sleep to give yourself the energy and stamina to be active
• Take the stairs instead of the lift
• Walk more. Even a ten-minute walk is good for your physical and mental health
Here are a few suggestions:
• Practise gratitude – what three things are you grateful for today?
• Try some mindfulness techniques (be mindful when you are eating or drinking )
• Practise self-compassion – are you aware of your thoughts – are they positive or critical?
• Would you speak to a friend in the same way you speak to yourself?
• Keep a mood diary to help establish patterns and find out what might trigger different feelings throughout the day
• Be aware of your limits and have the confidence to say ‘no’ to not become overwhelmed
• Reflect on your experiences.
Here are a few suggestions:
• Mix your day up
• Step outside your comfort zone
• Learn what makes you feel confident and prepares you for the day ahead
• Celebrate your successes and build on them
Here are a few suggestions:
• Spend more time with a colleague or a friend
• Become a good listener
• Help your parents more with housework around the home
• Find volunteering opportunities doing something that you’re interested in
• Look for opportunities to compliment others on a regular occasion
• Act as a mentor for a less experienced colleague
Here are a few suggestions:
• Accept help from others
• Accept words and acts of kindness from others. For some people, giving is happiness.
• Be open to change and new opportunities in your life
• Let go when you need too, knowing that this creates space for better things to come
Maybe it sounds easy or too simple, but remember:
It’s the simple things in life that are more often than not the most extraordinary!
And as a final piece of personal advice from me to you: try to slow down enough to feel, see, smell, and touch life. You’ll be surprised how much happier you are simply using your senses more to see the beauty around you and appreciate what you have. We always seem to be in a rush much of the time, and as a result often miss the simple joys and pleasures of life.
IBSB is a school deeply committed to supporting student and staff well-being. We invest time and resources into supporting emotional wellbeing and happiness, because we know that happiness and wellbeing underlie academic performance and fulfilment in life.
The video may help your children to reflect on the way they spend their time as a single but important step toward living a more enriching and fulfilling life.