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As an international school with a large and growing community of international families, the experience of relocation is something that many of our families have to deal with on a regular basis.
To small children, home is their entire world, so the sight of it being dismantled in front of their very eyes can be overwhelming. By trying to consider the experience from their point of view, there is a lot you can do to help him settle sooner.
Moving is one of life’s most stressful experiences. And while some children will view it as a huge adventure – depending on age, temperament, and circumstances – others will focus on the loss of leaving their old home and everything familiar.
Unless you explain it to them in a language and in way that they understand, children may also be confused by what’s happening. For example, they may not realise that they can take all their belongings with them or that their pets can come too. They may also be anxious to see the familiar objects they have grown up with—including their toys—disappear into huge boxes. If you’re relocating, older children in particular will worry about starting a new school and finding new friends. Taking a little time to help your child understand what to expect can make the transition smoother for the whole family.
Tell your child that a home is not about the building, but the love that happens inside.
Prepare for change. Take your child on a tour of your new home. Explain the process so they understand it is switching from living in one place to another, not going on vacation.
Explain why you are packing. If you start putting children’s things into huge boxes, your child may think they are disappearing for good or getting thrown away. Explain that they are just being stored safely for the move and he will see them again soon.
Enlist your child’s help. No matter your child’s age, moving feels like a decision made by adults. Help your children feel more in control by asking them to help with packing, for example, by putting their favourite things in a special box. Let them draw or write on the boxes to keep them busy and to show what’s inside.
Let them make future plans: to help your child feel more comfortable in his new home, give them as many safe choices as possible about how to make it cozy. Maybe they could choose the colour of their new bedroom, arrange their stuffed animals, or decide where the bookcase goes.
Pack up their old room last and unpack the new one first. Having a safe place with all his things at your new home will help your child feel more secure. Put their boxes into the moving van last so they are immediately at hand when you arrive.
Get childcare on moving day. Moving is stressful for everyone, so ask a close friend, relative or sister to take your child out for the day. You will be able to give your full attention once everything is moved in.
Be upbeat. Even if your family’s new changes are the result of a job loss or parental separation, be upbeat. Children pick up on and take in parents’ feelings. If you feel ready to make the best of it, so will they.
Stick to a routine. Your child needs predictability to feel at home. Follow the usual bath and bedtime routine as soon as you are in your new place. This lets your child now that whatever else is changing, he ca always rely on things to happen.
