The Importance of Modelling a Positive Attitude toward Work

Your children love you and want to be with you, so when your job takes you away or intrudes into the time you have together, they may feel disappointed or resentful. For the same reason, they may also ask, “Why do I have to go to school?”

“Why do you have to go to work?”

This question is not a philosophical pondering of the complexities of work-family balance. Your children are just frustrated that you can’t do something they want you to do. They like it when you take them to school and would protest any obstacle to that.

“I have to do what I have to do.”

Every family’s solutionto managing work and childcare carries pros and cons. If you are matter-of-fact about the solution that works best for your family right now, your children will be, too. Occasional grumbling doesn’t necessarily mean there’s a problem.

“I wish Mommy could always do what I want her to do.”

You know all the reasons why you work, but your children only vaguely understand that you go to work, just like they go to school, and sometimes you can’t do what they want because of work. Your attitude toward your work will influence theirs.

MODEL A POSITIVE ATTITUDE TOWARD WORK, BUT AVOID LETTING IT SPILL INTO FAMILY TIME.

How to respond to your children:

1. Be understanding. Acknowledge their feelings and tell them you wish you could drop them off at school, too. Remember you’re both strong enough to survive small disappointments. Make a plan to do something together at a different time

1.  Help your child understand what you do. Bring them to your work, if you can. Let them meet your colleagues. Explain what you enjoy or find interesting about your job, who it helps, and find why it matters. Tell them about your work day.

1. Avoid complaining about your job. One day, your child will also have a job. Try to model for them a positive attitude toward work. If you allow your work to make you tense and irritable, your child will conclude that work is bad.

1. Be a mindful parent. When you come home, visualize yourself letting go of the workday and embracing your home life. Give your child your full attention when you first come home. Research says daily parent-child reunions can be times of special intimacy.

1. Beware work spillover. Digital services can make it hard to have boundaries between work and home. If you must work in the evening, try to wait until your child is in bed.